"Just... the weight, Javi," Nick said, leaning into the absurdity. "The unbearable weight... of all this talent ."

"Being me is a full-time job, Richard," Nick whispered, his eyes widening in that specific way that suggested he might either weep or hijack a plane. "It’s an Olympic sport. It's a high-wire act over a volcano of cinematic history!" The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent (2022) ...

In the end, there were car chases. There were golden guns. There was a moment where Nick had to jump off a cliff while reciting a monologue from The Rock . As he soared through the air, the wind whipping his perfectly manicured hair, he realized he wasn't just a movie star anymore. He was a myth. of all this talent

Nick Cage didn’t just enter the room; he manifested within it, a whirlwind of leather fringe and existential dread. He was currently staring at a life-sized wax statue of himself from Face/Off , wondering if the wax version had better career prospects. There were golden guns

The lines blurred. Nick was now playing a character playing himself playing a spy. He wore a wire under a Gucci shirt that cost more than a mid-sized sedan. Every time Javi hugged him, the feedback in Nick's ear sounded like a dying whale.

"Nick," his agent’s voice crackled over the phone, sounding like sandpaper on silk. "The birthday party. One million dollars. All you have to do is be... you ."

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