The Gordon Neufeld Approach: Making Sense Of Ch... May 2026

Dr. Neufeld’s model is built on three distinct but interconnected lenses used to "map" a child’s development:

The primary need for contact and connection. Neufeld identifies six stages of attachment that deepen as a child matures: proximity, sameness, belonging/loyalty, significance, love, and being known. The Gordon Neufeld Approach: Making Sense of Ch...

The , often encapsulated in his flagship Making Sense of Kids intensive, is an attachment-based developmental model that shifts the focus from managing a child's behavior to understanding the underlying relational and developmental needs. The , often encapsulated in his flagship Making

The emotional state of being open to hurt. When a child's world is too wounding, their brain may employ "defensive detachment" to shut down vulnerable feelings, which can stall maturation. 2. The Relationship-First Paradigm which can stall maturation.

Unlike behavioral approaches that use "consequences" or "time-outs," the Neufeld approach views the parent-child relationship as the primary tool for change.